Start taking up space. Force people to walk around you rather than stepping to the side. Make the other person look away first. Stop laughing at jokes that aren’t funny. Make “No,” into your favorite word. When you say the word “no,” do not explain yourself. When you disagree with a person, do not argue with them. Take action so that your opinions become law, rather than theirs. Reject orders that you do not like. This results in consequences. Consequences make you self-reliant. Self-reliance breeds power. Staying in line makes you dependent on an authority figure and that authority figure got there through defiance. People don’t follow followers.
Why should a relationship mean settling down? Wait out for someone who won’t let life escape you, who’ll challenge you and drive you toward your dreams. Someone spontaneous you can get lost in the world with. A relationship, with the right person, is a release not a restriction.
It’s astonishing how present an absence can be when you allow it control of your life. Give yourself permission to let go. Allow space to grieve but recognise when it’s doing you damage. In the end, grief is a rope; sometimes it’s a harness, and sometimes it’s a noose.